Multi-tasking for mothers
In the two minutes it takes to dash to the washing machine from the bathroom with a reeking bucket of poohy nappies, Arch has managed to open the child-proof cap on the big bottle of mouthwash and drink its contents.
As I dither trying to decide whether my priority is to comfort him, make him sick or wash my hands, I recall a newsletter from a company called Real Coaching Solutions saying women are natural multitaskers. Ho ho ho! In my dreams.....
How I wish I was the kind of woman that could indeed type a report, negotiate a deal, plan dinner for the family and remember to wash the football kits all at the same time. Motherhood would be a breeze if I could. Even watching Arch and washing nappies simultaneously has me flummoxed.
Given that I'm that kind of person, in my 21 months of being a wing-and-a-prayer mum, I have tried to give up multitasking whereever I can.
There are some things that simply have to be done, so I DO combine shopping, cooking and sorting out the nappy bucket with cuddles, Row Row Row Your Boat and Going on a Bear Hunt. Otherwise I try to do one thing at a time.
My aim when I'm looking after Arch - I rarely succeed completely - is to give him my full attention, which inevitably means other things have to go. I avoid answering the phone and emailing (sorry pals), I cut down on reading newspapers (sorry boss) and I still haven't got round to sewing the buttons back on his cute winter coat (sorry Arch - heck, what am I saying sorry for? He doesn't care.)
I see there's another mum who calls this approach single-task orientation. For me it's a matter or survival, like all of motherhood really, and making sure I don't get so stressed I forget to allow my heart to swell with love.
I'm always interested in hearing how other parents manage the unmanageable, namely the busk which is parenthood. Do let me know if you're one of life's natural multitaskers - I'm sure they do exist - or what you have had had to give up, if you're not.
A tip here, a bit of encouragement there, we wend our way on a wing, a prayer....
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If you're a parent and you also work, whether or not "multi-tasking" comes naturally, you have no option. Simple as that. You can plan and scheme all you like, but there will always be occasions when parenthood and work commitments, not to mention household chores, collide with a resounding crash.
I saw a woman in the gym who was reading a book, listening to music on her MP3 player and working out all at the same time. "There goes a natural multi-tasker," I thought. "They do exist." What I dispute is the notion that multi-tasking comes naturally to all women, or even most.
Perhaps the notion that multi-tasking comes naturally to women has come about because women throughout time have been required to juggle more than one job at once, ie. women have always been, by and large, the child-rearers, so anything they do as well as that (such as cook the dinner) is an extra job. Therefore, multi-tasking has evolved naturally out of sheer necessity. That, perhaps, is why women are deemed to be "naturals" at it.
Women making a virtue out of necessity, eh? I think you're probably right. There has been some research http://www.livescience.com/health/050120_brain_sex.html showing that men and women have different types of brains which is why men are better at maths and women are better at languages and so on. A theme of research on brain-wiring is that women are better at processing information from different sources whereas men work in a more one-track kind of way. Even so I don't think we do ourselves any favors by claiming we are actually good at multi-tasking. I don't doubt it comes more easily to some than to others, but I would rather admit that it's stressful and, given the choice, would far rather not do it at all.
Just wondered what your thoughts would be on childcare vouchers as a means to help reduce the cost of childcare vouchers:
http://www.childcare-vouchers.net/benefits/cost-of-childcare-vouchers.aspx
And whether you have any tips for helping working mums and dads...
Thanks...