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What does your WiFi say about you?

By Jon Bounds on Mar 6, 08 10:41 AM in Culture

The names people give to their pets can open the door to their minds just a crack - my dad named his cats Sid and Nancy, revealing a love of punk that I wouldn't have suspected from his James Taylor-heavy record collection. I've known a man with a dog called Colin, this amused me as much as anyone popping down to the Registrar and jotting 'Spot' down in the forename box for their newborn.

As a person obsessed by cats and the internet, I'm now a little tired of the hilarious act of having a kitten called Chairman Meow. Beware a person with such a self-consciously wacky name for anything, it's a short hop from Chairman Meow to loud Hawaiian shirts and and stickers that read "You don't have to be emotionally empty to work here, but I am".

Pets' names aren't broadcast around the neighbourhood, except when you're calling your dog across the park, but the name you give to your WiFi network is. I care about these things, and I've been writing them down.

It all started when I got an iPhone. When you're out and you walk past a WiFi network up pops the name - asking if you want to join. Lots of the networks are secure of course, and some are commercial ones that you may be able to connect to but don't let you onto the internet. I like free internet, but that's not as important to me as knowing that someone made the concious decision to call their network "supersonic" (I wonder if it made it any faster?).

I've seen loads left as the default, "belkin54g" or "BTHomeHub", is that a lack of imagination or a healthy disregard for technology? I say lack of imagination and I'm a little disappointed, in the same way as when a band release an eponymous album and miss the chance to invent a new phrase for pop-culture.

Second most popular are family names, "Thompson" or in a lovely display of formal description "The Goodson Router". Businesses also do this, or at least I'm assuming that the owners of "The Trouser Press" haven't just got confused between the internet and their Corby. "Those creases haven't come out, can you turn it up a megabit?"

Sometimes the message can be a little more forceful, I've seen those that are subverting the broadband supplier (you can see if you can find it), and I've heard, but not seen myself, of some fairly offensive "get your hands off my wifi" type names.

Some of my favourite are those deliberately sending out a message , "SuperFast" or "Secure Home" which I'm sure will put off the dastardly hackers (not that any exist outside the media's imagination). So, what does your WiFi say about you? Tell us all your network names in the comments.

Mine? "Pussycat extreme". Feel free to analyse me.

8 Comments

Tom Scotney said:

Interesting thing, Mao, as in Chairman Mao, actually means 'cat' in Chinese...

Katie said:

Both my work and home network names are boring but I feel compelled to mention my 'favourite' one locally - it's called Halcyon. I found it quite pleasing that someone had chosen a name so evocative of the democratic freeness and carefree escapism afforded to us by the interweb ... but then I realised it's probably just a shop name or something. Darn.

Paul Groves said:

Maybe it is a snoopy journalist thing, but I do find myself looking at other people's wi-fi addresses too when I'm out and about and at home.
Our's is nice and obscure and secure (hopefully), whereas our neighbour's choice of name is very functional and obvious.
I've been mainly disappointed by the names I've found. although I have discovered an "LSD Boy" locally and a "BigBill69" when working down in Cardiff.

PS: I think Colin is an excellent name for a dog. I think animals should have proper names - if we ever get a dog I want to call him something like Richard, Derek, or Stephen, but my wife isn't so keen.

Steve X said:

a mate of mine had a guinea pig called Colin.

I had another friend who called his cat Reasonable. Because it used to wee in the toilet.

I don't know anyone with a Wi-Fi network pet though. I think "Premium Rate Wi-Fi Service" would be a good one.

Steve Cooper said:

Bluetooth can have some quite good naming IDs too. Anyway, my wireless is Kebab_Wireless part of my kebab related empire.

Nothing exciting picked up by iStumbler here though. ROBIN is about as good as it gets here.

Lots of guys simply are talking about quality! I claim that to tell someone: " write my academic paper " is reasonable.

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