Hell is other people's status updates, what Sartre forgot to tell you

By Jon Bounds on Jun 20, 08 12:17 PM in Culture

I thoroughly enjoyed Michael Palin's diaries of his years in Monty Python, he's amusing, literate and as has been widely noted very very very nice, but reading them made me feel somewhat inadequate. Here's a man that was writing and performing not only in Python, but films, his own Ripping Yarns series, and various theatre appearances, he was on the board of Shepperton studios, partner in an arts publishing business, father to three small children, having "rather nice claret" at lunch with various luminaries of the day, but the killer was that he still found time to be on his local residents committee.

You can easily imagine the hopelessly amiable Palin, bumbling though life painlessly overachieving in all of his chosen fields, as well as the feeling of inadequacy it also inspires you a little that nice guys don't have to finish last. Especially if they don't consider they're racing anyone.

I'm glad I read it thirty or so years after the event though, imagine how wearing it would be to read Palin's blog each day or worse hear about every effortless triumph on twitter.

It's possible to share almost every aspect of your life with strangers or acquaintances across the ol'interweb, from what music you've listened to on Last FM, through every business trip you make on Dopplr, to what can only be described as every waking moment if you're as exhibitionist as the Naked Cowboy. It's a cliché to suggest that there is a lot of non-verbal communication when you're actually in a room talking to someone, probably because it's true, and likewise what people infer from what you share online is something to be aware of.

I know at least one person who gets really annoyed at Facebook friends who post status updates that are continually 'X is at work' or 'X is at home', "it's not the fact that they're repetitive, it's the fact that they're unimaginative" they say, "everyone goes to work, everyone is glad it's Friday". Intolerant maybe, but, in the same way that the innocuous habits of your co-workers can drive you mad, it's possible to irritate virtually without knowing it.

Someone who is relentlessly "up" and always having a great time and going to exciting places can really make you feel tired.

I don't know what the solution to it is, it's probably my upbringing that would have castigated me for showing off, there's probably years of psychotherapy needed for me to become more expansive in my outlook. Except I can't, it would seem false, it would seem like I'd been on one of those courses run by smiling Americans. I went on an assertiveness course once, rather than boosting confidence the instructor talked about techniques to seem assertive -- she held Margaret Thatcher up as a good example, and I was very assertive in voicing my displeasure with that (so perhaps it worked).

Sometimes lifecasting can come across as "hey, hey, look at me", a sort of attention SPAM that we've opted into because when people say something interesting we don't want to miss it. A particular hate of mine is crossposting -- sending the same information to different services -- which creates echoes not dissimilar to the pointless TV channels that set up +1 and +2. I find it a little impolite, sleeve tugging, "did you see what I did?", "you're not listening", but apart from morally objecting I don't have a clue what to suggest.

As an information junkie I suppose I'll just have to put up with it, only follow (in the past we'd have called it listening to I suppose) nice people whose success you can be happy for and whose foibles you can forgive and ignore.

If anyone lands a major film role, while simultaneously publishing their novel and doesn't even have the grace to be a bit conflicted about it though, I'm reserving the right to have a little cry.