Summer In The City

You may think that living in dusty old Beijing in the Summer time would be a bit of a drag, but you would be wrong. The list of things to do is endless.
With barbecues, themed parties and water parks, at times it's like being on holiday in Majorca, but with far less stag/hen holidays and vomiting, of course.

When the weather is hot and sweltering and you are beginning to feel like a bag of boil-in-the-bag mifan (rice), the one place you long to be is on the beach, with soft sand between your toes, some cool water (not the Davidoff fragrance) to dip your steaming hot bod into, and some relaxing tropical 'holiday' music playing subtly in the background from the beach cocktail bar (Bob Marley or UB40 are always winners).

Well, who'd have thought it, but I've found just the place in this bustling capital city.
Hallelujah! An arguably beautiful man-made beach is just the ticket for an expatriate who wants to fry in the midday sun. So long as you don't mind Chinese people taking photographs of you as you lie on the beach in your bikini, that is. Many Chinese women opt for beachwear like those luminous leotards that GMTV's Mr. Motivator used to wear.

Don't misunderstand me, I don't run in slow motion across the beach, ala Baywatch, topless and wearing a red thong that just screams "notice me". I should imagine I would be arrested for such an act. No, I just wear what any other western female would select: An average black bikini. Yet still, expect photos to be taken. It becomes a way of life. I'm getting a taste of what it would be like to be Princess Di. Albeit on a much much much smaller scale, I grant you. But whereas before I would tut at celebrities who would attack the paparazzi, and be shown photographed in The Sun giving the finger (not the Cadbury's chocolate one), but now I empathize with them. I'm laughing at myself as I write this. How pretentious I must sound? But seriously, despite the colossal amount of expats living in Beijing today, we still get stared at and get 'papped'. However, no amount of 'papping' of me in my bikini is going to make me wear one of Mr. Motivator's cast-offs.

I'm hoping that my saviour is going to be the Olympic Games. After a month of foreigner overload, and after taking as many photographs as their phones, cameras and computers will hold, I'll be able to run down the street naked without so much as a click. Well, that's my theory anyway. Something I devised from the Clockwork Orange technique: Give the person an overload of something they like and they wont like it any longer. I'll let you know how that one works out.

If you do plan on coming to Beijing to watch the games, have your wallet ready, because I read in the China Daily yesterday that they're expecting foreigner visitors to spend $400m. Crikey, now that's a lot of noodles.