Double Delia dangers

We pick up (and pass on) some great websites during the big nosh-up where our waitress is clearly a graduate from the Basil Fawlty School of Catering. The fried bread at our sea front hotel is superb - although we pass on the house speciality of a Great Yarmouth Fish breakfast ... local bloaters, kippers and more - and it's fascinating to people watch in the bar.

While the kids play pool (great stress potential for grandfather here as they narrowly avoid ripping the baize) hordes of diner-jacketed Great Yarmouth Rotarians and their extraordinary wives crowd into the bar for a pre-dinner drink.

Once upon a time in Delialand junior reporters like me (and Freddie Forsyth) had to turn up at Rotary lunches every week to give an account of the speaker's performance. It could be quite intimidating as more often than not our line managers as they would now be called (editors or chief reporters) would be attending in a personal capacity.

I recall the fecal matter striking the basic air conditioning apparatus once when a staunchly republican Australian reporter refused to stand up for the Loyal Toast. Do they still have this at Rotary events?

Talking of fans, from our bedroom we gaze out at the turbines of the Scroby Sands Wind Farm and while wandering along the splendid beach spot the huge blades of their cousin perched on Lowestoft's Ness Point, 12 miles or so down the coast. It's called Gulliver (from the Travels hero) because it's the largest in the UK. It's a name which has entered the Langley idiolect as the generic term for a wind vane.

We have the hotel's heated indoor pool to ourselves and seven-year-old Rebecca is mightily impressed by it associated story. It's built on the site of a former house which during the Second World War housed a group of girls from the ATS - the women's section of the British Army. When the town was being strafed by the Luftwaffe 27 girls rushed into the house. One of them tripped on the way and was the only one who survived when the house received a direct hit from a bomb.

We even managed to avoid disaster on our return journey when Radio Delia warned us of closures on the A14 and we were able to divert to the northern route home - checking out the Gullivers at Swaffham on the way.

For anyone who knows the delights of the A47 across the Fens, I am happy to report the Thorney by pass is now open.

I must say I do tend to miss the days when Radio Norfolk was manned by people like my old mate Keith Skipper, also a Rotary Club reporter in days gone by. He sports an MBE these days for his work in trying to preserve the local dialect and Radio Norfolk is poorer for his absence from the airwaves. I've long maintained that he was the role model for Alan Partridge with his coverage of Delia's team.

She rears her head again when we try to do the Christmas food shopping.

It happens every year. Whatever she suggests as Christmas recipe ingredients just flies off the shelves. This year it's Morello Cherry Conserve and the dried version of said cherries, not to mention Gressingham duck breast fillets. Even Ambrosia Devon Custard in a packet is scarce - but our local Co-op saves us where the supermarkets failed.

Still, all is now safely gathered in. There's a Gavin and Stacey special on the box, plus Harry Hill's TV Burp, but I'm a bit worried about seeing double in Dr Who. The Indian restaurant is booked for Boxing Day and Bedtime Stories pencilled in for a weekend cinema trip.

I don't think the Stress Monster will be having much of an outing this year ... hope yours stays locked away well into the New Year.