The answer is 'three years' or 'I can't remember'
Common sense takes a while before it surfaces in this world of political correctness.
I'm referring, of course, to the news that Britons who invite foreign nationals here will be held responsible if their visitors break our country's immigration rules.
Apparently, according to the news this morning, they could be fined up to £5000 and even imprisoned.
And about time too!
For so long Britons have been inviting their relatives and friends but have not been held directly accountable when those visitors go missing and thereby getting lost in this country and its system.
The result is that the taxpayer and the home office lose out because we have to fork out the expense relating to their stay, detection and removal.
Some scrupulous people even assist their visitors' camouflage by helping them to secure employment and getting them married to British nationals to prevent their deportation from the home office.
But how many of these accomplices have actually been charged, let alone prosecuted?
None.
But not for long...
And the new measure might even extend to schools and colleges.
A friend of mine who works in Further Education tells me that there are foreign nationals who know the system and are playing it to their advantage. A student who has been in this country for over three years - that's the magic number - is exempt from paying the full course fee (don't tell me you didn't know that?).
There's a 16 year old Congolese student, for instance, who enrolled on her course a few months ago. She claims she's been in this country for 3 years. When did she get a passport? Three years ago. But whenever she's been quizzed about which school she attended, she can't remember. Where was it? She can't remember. Does she have any qualifications, references, names of teachers - or even name of the school? Errm... she can't remember.
Do you get the feeling that we're being taken for a ride?
So far there's no onus on the schools and colleges to do a proper immigration check on their pupils and students.
But in the light of today's news, that might soon change.
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Roshan, I sincerely hope you write in jest. What is your point?
Surely you have helped friends and family if and when the need arises, even if not always on the straight and narrow, non?
If someone holds a British passport they are entitled to all this country has to offer; wherever they originate from.
And to get hold of that precious piece of paper is no mean feat; even if you are essentially "British". As it happens, only this morning I accompanied my sixteen year old son for an interview at the Home Office Identity & Passport Service. Felix, born in this country, had applied for his first adult British passport and the checks are stringent - despite the fact that his father is born and bred British. I was allowed to sit in on the interview - it was pleasantly conducted; but there is nothing easy about it. Further checks pending he might be able to travel again any time soon.
And Roshan, since we are on the subject, what are your views on someone like me who, by virtue of being an EU member national, can just sail into Britain for good - without so much as a British passport?
Don't spare my feelings.
U
Ursula. My point is that people do take advantage of the system and, therefore, any measures the government introduce to tighten up the laws and administration relating to our immigration should be welcomed. As for you being a EU citizen - you're not an issue. You're not breaking the law, are you?
I also hope this is a jest. Britain's immigration policies are unreasonably strict already. When you're a citizen, there's a bright line between legal and illegal, but when you're actually trying to navigate the system, it gets a lot murkier.
Undocumented migrants pay taxes. We contribute to society. What's the problem? Some migrants might be able to avoid paying the astronomically high foreign student fees after they've been here a few years? They've already paid far more than a citizen would pay. It would be an error to say that they were not adequately contributing financially to the educational system. Moreover, having a diverse and international student body contributes to the prestige of the institution and if some students stay on to work, it brings greater brain power to the country.
If you'd rather have a nation of people afraid to offer aid to friends from overseas and one where students leave for studies rather than arrive for them, well, it's your country to cripple, but it seems foolish and unjust to me.
Once again Mr Doug says it as it is. Why is it that whenever anyone argues that we should tighten up our immigration laws, people think he or she is some kind of a crack pot! It's obvious that our country is a soft touch and some people are taking advantage of it.! Thank God for writers like Mr Doug for daring to say what most of us think - he's the man for the silent majority.
Emily, do you seriously think that I would waste my time writing comments on his posts if I thought Mr Doug to be a "crackpot"?
He is a journalist with a job to do: Mainly to throw a pebble and see how many ripples it'll create among his readership.
Two points, Emily: Majorities are never silent; they don't need to be because, guess what, they are the majority.
If you really believe that, on the subject of immigration, the majority is "silent" than I suggest that you take up reading the broadsheets and listen to, say, Radio 4's Today or pm programme.
U
Emily - thanks for your support. 'Appreciate it.
Les - I hope you're not suggesting we turn a blind eye to people breaking the law or evading the watchful eye of the immigration office?