Recently by Tom Scotney

Which group of bigots ought to be allowed in the country?

Loopy anti-gay crusaders the Westboro Baptist Church, the team behind the "god hates fags" and "god hates the world" websites, are set to travel to Basingstoke - of all places - to protest outside the performance of a play.

The group - made infamous through TV programmes with Louis Theroux and Keith Allen, do a good line in frankly unhinged anti-gay bile, and are best known for picking high profile events like funerals in the US to try to get attention for their insane views - often inviting amusing counter-protests.

Er, no.

But that's not what Sparkbrook councillor and wannabe MP candidate Salma Yaqoob is trying to make everyone believe.

And she's saying this shows up the failings of Birmingham - as a city and as a local authority - in dealing with diversity.

Merry Christmas everyone! Of course, speaking as a non-religious person myself; Christmas isn't just about Christianity any more. Christmas, in this country at least, is a time for people of all faiths and beliefs to come together.

For example look at this fellow here. He believes gays and jews should be hanged. You know hanged, like to death probably. From a big crane. And your tax money is paying for him to appear on television. Hurrah!

This sort of email will be familiar to anyone with an email account. But the latest one that's doing the rounds has a slightly different take on things.

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

Why all the fuss over Obama, McCain, Palin and Biden?

This whole country seems to have taken leave of its senses and become obsessed with a political soap story that's got nothing to do with us.

You can prove anything with statistics. 58 per cent of people know that.

So perhaps it wouldn't be right to read too much into the Birmingham Post's timeline of knife and gun killings in the region over the past year.

But on the other hand, what else is there to go on? And if it suggests anything it's this: gang crime is more of a problem than many people might think in this city.

Hey, fatties! You all eat too much, and your wasteful carbon-emitting ways are probably destroying the planet.

That's the message coming back from the leaders of the free world as they jet over to the far side of the world to discuss global problems in the brief gaps between gut-busting meals.

The legal system is cold, heartless and takes no account of the feelings of victims and the vulnerable.

Thank god for that.

We've heard a lot about respect in recent days over the Lisbon Treaty - which hopes to reform the EU and which was approved by parliament yesterday.

Gordon Brown said he respected the Irish people's decision to reject the treaty, which by all rights should leave it dead in the water. He added he had to respect the wishes of other countries that approved the treaty, and also respect the House of Commons, which also approved the treaty.

Here's an idea. How about some respect for the people of Britain?

I bet you're thinking to yourself, this has all been done before. Complaining about the Olympics is nothing new. Well I don't care, I'm going to do it again.

The Olympics is a gloriously obscene, corrupt, grotesque, pointless, wasteful woolly white mammoth of an event.

I was at a meeting of the West Midlands Police Authority today, the body that oversees the actions of the local force. A group of top cops and politicians all talking about how the police force will pay for the extra effort of the London 2012 Olympics.

What a waste of Midlanders' money. And what a waste of police officers - officers previously in action in Birmingham will be taken down to London to help out the Met.